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Good Morning Everyone,

If you have found this site, welcome!   Unfortunately, we have had a technical problem with our Domain Registration the result of which is the temporary loss of our domain name: http://theparentingpassageway.com

We are working diligently with WordPress to resolve the issue and we hope to be back up within the next 24 hours.    We will be making some big changes in the future, so please continue to visit and tell all your friends about us as well!

Some Quick Thoughts on First Grade Knitting

My daughter is not in first grade, but our knitting really stalled last year, so she just recently completed a sachet and a scarf under the guidance of a Waldorf handwork teacher who is teaching a grades handwork class for our Waldorf home school group.  I actually think perhaps our handwork stalled just for the reason that my child could start in this group this year and learn such wonderful things under such a fantastic handwork teacher!

• However,  I  do think first and second grade knitting can be the same sorts of projects, so here are some things I have learned and observed and want to share with you regarding knitting:
• Consider casting on for the first project yourself and letting the child just do the knit stitch first.  With other projects you can cast on part of it, and your child can do part of it.
• Consider a small first project, and then a bigger project along with several smaller side projects that the child can work on when they are tired of working on said “big project”
• Know how to fix common mistakes; it is important to be able to salvage your child’s work
• Consider the social aspect of handwork and knitting; are there other children around that might like to learn to knit?  Part of knitting is the friendships that form for the children.
• Do not underestimate the importance of the things leading up to  knitting: seeing sheep, washing and carding wool, seeing the carded wool turned into yarn, the dyeing of yarn, finger knitting chains,  making slip knots, making knitting needles. 
• Know how to sew with yarn for your knitting projects.
• Have your verses and songs at the ready for knitting! 

If you have a child in Kindergarten, you should be working on your knitting skills now so you can teach your child come First Grade!  If your child is in the grades, please consider learning how to knit as this is an important skill for your child to learn within the framework of the Waldorf curriculum.  If your child goes to school, please consider teaching knitting to your child and giving your child time to do knitting and other kinds of handwork after school or on weekends.  It is very important for boys and for girls!

Peace,

Carrie

Siblings Are The Most Precious Gift

There has been a sweet scene playing out at my house this week.  My four-year-old is learning how to ride a bike with no training wheels; she has been working on this for awhile but we didn’t ride much in the heat of summer and now we are back at it.  Anyway, the sweet part is that my eight-year-old has taken over the job of the initial balancing and getting the bike going for her sister so I can sit and nurse the baby.  She decided to do this of her own accord, simply because she likes to help her sister.  She will let the end of the bike go and shout, “Mommy!  Look at Sophie go!”  She is so proud of her sister, and I am so proud of both of them.

Those of you who know me in person know my mantra that “a sibling is the greatest gift you can give your child.”  I truly believe these children not only choose us as parents, but also pick their brothers and sisters.

Siblings are the first place where one learns about peer relationships.  Even on the most trying days when siblings are fighting and bickering, they still love each other and you still love all of them! 

Isn’t it wonderful how different each and every child can be?  Oh, we know in our heart as we go to have our second child that they will be different people, yet it can still be shocking that they really are different!  We have to figure out each new addition to our family for that reason.

Some of you have heard my theory that “the role has been filled.”  In other words, I have observed that in families it seems as if one child is a “high-needs” child (I am not in love with that term, but you all know what I mean when I say that), then it seems the next child realizes that and does something completely  different!  

As attached parents, we often ask ourselves how can we foster siblings who are attached to each other?  I have a few thoughts on this one:

1.  Co-sleeping siblings, and as they grow, siblings who share a room.  I think this is very important and goes a long way in making up some of the daytime hurts if those occur.

2.  Fostering a sense of caretaking of the youngest by the oldest.  This is important, because little ones appreciate being assisted, and then will come to the aid of the oldest through imitation.

3.  When your children are over 9 and truly have the skills to “work it out”, let them try.  Intervene as needed, but work together to solve the problem.

4.  Have a family mission statement, family meetings and put forth the family as a team idea in words and action.

5.  Choose activities in nature that require teamwork – hiking, camping, orienteering.

6.  Spend quantity time together – and yes, I think homeschooling is a huge help in this regard because instead of being separated by age at school, the siblings are together all day.

7.  Some siblings get along better when they have some separate friends or activities, depending upon the spacing of the children.

8.  Expect your children to get along, visualize your children getting along, and hold that idea within the space.  My two oldest have their share of bickering, but they know our home is a place of kindness.  I recognize that sometimes there can be a fine line in teasing fun, but there are limits!

*Tandem nursing – I didn’t put this directly on the list because I feel tandem nursing can be a different experience for each family.  Some mothers find that they are indeed nursing two or three children, but don’t enjoy nursing them all at the same time and that separate nursing sessions work better for them.  Some tandem  nursing mothers told me their children fought over the same breast and had other sharing challenges around nursing.  Some mothers have the most wonderful, beautiful, heart-warming experiences possible with nursing children holding hands whilst nursing together.  So, I think it can enhance a sibling relationship but I don’t view it as “your children will never be close if they don’t tandem nurse.”

Most of all, maintain your “ho-hum” attitude regarding your children’s relationship.  Trust it will grow in love as you set forth this expectation and example.  Let it grow!

Love,

Carrie

Links for Dangers of Media for Children

This is a great article that describes the phenomenon of “age compression” as viewed by a Kindergarten teacher and some things she did to combat this:

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/archive/23_03/six233.shtml

Here is an article from TIME:

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1914450-2,00.html

The sad statistics regarding how much media children are watching:

http://blog.nielsen.com/nielsenwire/media_entertainment/tv-viewing-among-kids-at-an-eight-year-high/

The best antidote you can provide to your children besides the obvious step of limiting media exposure from screens includes providing opportunity for time in nature and plenty of time and open ended toys for imaginative play.

Peace,

Carrie

My Top Three Favorite Crafty Blogs

I am sure everyone has heard of SouleMama or seen Amanda Soule’s wonderful books, but just in case you have not, here is the blog link: http://soulemama.typepad.com/ 

Another “biggie” with a book to buy for Christmas! http://rosylittlethings.typepad.com/posie_gets_cozy/

Those are two well-read blogs to check out!  There are many, many others, but I wanted to spotlight a few I really like that I don’t think has as big an audience as some of the others (yet!).  So, for purposes of this post, my personal top three favorite crafty blogs are these (drum roll please!):

1.  http://www.skiptomylou.org/     Skip To My Lou always has great seasonal ideas, along with money saving ideas!

2.  http://www.purlbee.com/      A great source for knitting, embroidery and other handwork ideas.

3.  http://tinyhappy.typepad.com/  New Zealand’s answer to SouleMama!

And this one, especially for Waldorf Handwork:  http://teachinghandwork.blogspot.com/

Happy Browsing!

Carrie

Martinmas In The Waldorf Home

Martinmas is coming!  Our family is hosting the Lantern Walk for our Waldorf homeschooling group for the third year in the row and this year I am really excited because Jodie from over at Home Music Making is leading us all in song! (Her blog is here: http://www.homemusicmaking.blogspot.com/ – You can start learning “The Pumpkin Pie” song to sing as entertainment after Thanksgiving dinner!  That is one of our traditions, but I am digressing).  If you and your homeschool group need festival music, perhaps you would consider contacting Jodie to assist you!

At any rate, Jodie has come up with a song for us to sing and act out during our Circle Time, a song to sing whilst we are getting ready and a song to sing whilst we are walking.  Our Lantern Walk always ends in a small playground surrounded by woods and it is lovely lit up by all the lanterns, and after that we all walk to my house to eat!  It is very reverent until we get to the merriment of eating , but since our Advent Spiral is coming and that is especially solemn, so we decided on this format for the Lantern Walk.  It is a wonderful family event for Dads to network as well.  For a different take on this event, please see the beautiful suggestions here: http://christopherushomeschool.typepad.com/blog/2009/10/creating-a-festival.html

Martinmas is on November 11th, and is a wonderful festival.  “All Year Round” says this on page 163:  “This day celebrates the burial of St Martin of Tours (316-397 AD) who devoted much of his life to establishing Christianity in France, and became one of her patron saints.”  Many of you know the story he was most famous for – that of meeting a poor beggar at the city gate, who was shivering in the cold.  Martin drew his sword and cut his own cloak in two and gave one half to the beggar.  Legend has it that Christ appeared to Martin in a dream the following night dressed in the piece of cloak Martin had cut.

“All Year Round” goes on to remark, “  Martin’s half cloak brought hope and comfort to the beggar-his compassionate gesture may warm us also, and protect us from wintry despair.”  We carry lanterns as a symbol of the small light we can shine into the dark world. 

A Martinmas meal is typically very simple and sometimes includes a food that can be cut in half and shared with your family member next to you in the same gesture of Martin cutting his cloak in half and giving it away.    Some European nations used to celebrate with the eating of a goose for that special meal; (it is said honking geese gave St. Martin away when he was hiding from people who wanted to make him Bishop!).  It also is a festival of harvest, preparation for Winter.  Tell me what you are eating on Martinmas, my dear European readers!  And my new readers from Hungary, do you all celebrate Martinmas?  Martin was born in Hungary, after all!

Music is also at the heart of this festival, and there are many wonderful Lantern songs that can be found in  “Festivals, Families and Food”.    This includes “The Sunlight Fast is Dwindling”, “Glimmer Lantern Glimmer” and “Father Sky”.  There are many, many others! 

Another thing to consider is the act of giving things away at this time of year in the spirit of Martin.  Giving away warm coats, sweaters, etc to those who have none seems especially appropriate this time of year.  You may decide this a wonderful time to deal with some of the clutter within your house and a great time to give it all away!

Much peace to you as you celebrate this special day!

Carrie

More About Knitting and Other Handwork Within the Waldorf Curriculum

Many of you are familiar with Steiner’s famous quote regarding “thinking as cosmic knitting”.  Indeed, knitting is an important part of the Waldorf Education experience.  However, handwork comes in many other ways within the curriculum both as a separate “class” in the grades but also as a skill within a Main Lesson at times as well.  

Perhaps seeing a scope and sequence of handwork within the grades through high school will spark some ideas for your own homeschool.

The book “Will-Developed Intelligence” outlines the following handwork emphasis for each grade:

Kindergarten (and yes, there will be a separate post on this coming up):  Handwork begins with outdoor play; with the gathering of natural materials and building, with modeling in sand and snow and mud; fingerplays; playing with bits of fairy wool; making simple toys.

Grade One:  Making slip knots and finger knitting, knitting:  casting on, knit stitch, casting off;   hand sewing of knitting projects as needed with yarn

Grade Two:  Knitting: casting on, knit stitch (and yes, I know some schools introduce purling here; some handwork teachers have discussed saving purling for Grade Three).  “Will Developed Intelligence” mentions starting crocheting in Grade Two, but I am truly unsure how common this is as I have heard about crocheting more in connection with Grade Three.

Grade Three:  Knitting, casting on, knit stitch and purl stitch; “Will-Developed Intelligence” mentions starting the year with simple sewing;  perhaps crocheting if that has not been introduced before

Grade Four: Cross stitch with mirror picture designs;

Grade Five:  Knitting with four needles:  socks are usually made; knitted stuffed animals may also be made; woodworking is generally taught from Grade Five through Grade Twelve.

Grade Six:  Making a stuffed animal; making of dolls and puppets with experimentation in embroidery

Grade Seven: Make a garment to wear with hand sewing; the study of how embroidery enhances clothing; making of their own pattern; slippers may also be made

Grade Eight:  Use of a sewing machine; learn to use bought patterns; intricate braiding and belt making; sewing details on costumes and hats;

 High School

This is the sequence my local Waldorf High School uses:

Grade Nine:  Basketry, Blacksmithing, Ceramics, Quilting  (also drawing, painting, music for Fine Arts)

Grade Ten:  Ceramics, Jewelry Making, Spinning, Woodworking (also drawing, drama, sculpture) for Fine Arts)

Grade Eleven:  Bookbinding, quilting, veil painting, weaving (also photography, sculpture, for Fine Arts)

Grade Twelve:  Batik, Stained Glass making (also drama, film, oil painting, sculpture for Fine Arts)

Hope that helps put knitting into a context of handwork for all the grades.  Posts on handwork in the Kindergarten and observations for knitting in the Early Grades to come.

Peace,

Carrie

Coming To Waldorf Late

This is a great post on the topic from Melisa Nielsen of A Little Garden Flower; you can listen to this series on her Gnome Home Radio Show and also see this blog post where she details exactly what you will need for the grade you are coming into:

http://waldorfjourney.typepad.com/a_journey_through_waldorf/2009/10/coming-to-waldorf-late-1.html

Several important things for people to realize when coming into Waldorf late:

A Grade One child should be seven for most of Grade One, a Grade Two child should be eight for most of Grade Two and etc.

The academic level of your child is important, but that is NOT how we pick grades within the Waldorf curriculum.  The curriculum speaks to the AGE of the child, not the academic level.  The academic level can be adjusted up or down, but the Grade One child needs fairy tales, the Grade Two child needs the fables and archetypal Saints and Heroes block (these are not taught within a religious context but an archetypal context to show the duality of man), etc.

Consider what lives within you.  There was a recent debate on Melisa’s list regarding whether or not Native American Tales belonged within Third Grade or Fourth Grade.  There has been debate as to whether Old Testament Stories should be solely within Third Grade or within both Third and Fourth Grade. (Donna Simmons ended up putting a block of Old Testament Stories in her Fourth Grade Curriculum and she outlines the reasons why here: http://christopherushomeschool.typepad.com/blog/2009/06/ot-stories-again.html). 

Consider how to make things your own.  Many folks celebrate the Jewish festivals in collaboration with their Third Grade Old Testament Stories (and remember, these stories are taught within an archetypal example of Man and Authority – something  a child going through the nine-year-old change will deeply connect with!) but you do not *have* to do this.  I actually am not certain this practice started until recently….  I personally have not decided if I am going to expand this way during our Third Grade Year or not, but the lucky thing with homeschooling is that we have the choice to decide! 

The point is,  though, that in general you will come to  trust  the curriculum and how it so beautifully meets the developmental needs of the child.  Read Steiner for yourself and make things your own, but also trust that the tales of each grade will meet your child no matter what academic level your child is. 

Many people come to Waldorf thinking it is outside nature time, all knitting and handwork, gnomes and fairies and protective bubbles; or they come to Waldorf late and think a fifth grader needs to hear fairy tales because they missed that!  No, we work with the child where they are…get to know the curriculum and what each grade has to offer to your child to optimize their development. 

Much love and many blessings,

Carrie

The Baby Update

Well, our little guy is now two weeks old!  Time flies!  In one week he gained 26 ounces so as  to now be 1 pound, 3 ounces above birth weight and he also grew a half an inch.  Obviously, nursing is not a big  problem for him. 

We wanted to thank everyone for your well wishes!  It is so much fun to have a baby in the house again!  I will try to post another picture soon!

Love,

Carrie

The Baby’s Intense Need For Mother

The baby has an intense need to be with its mother throughout the early years.  In traditional terms, the biology of the baby and, in anthroposophic terms, The Madonna Cloak, deems this to be so.  The baby and mother are one.

Many breastfeeding mothers talk about wanting to give their baby a bottle so “Dad can feed the baby and be involved.”  I understand mothers wanting their partners to be involved, and I especially understand first-time mothers who may be viewing this bonding experience between father and infant as something that needs to occur right away.  And I agree that too many attached mothers forget that the baby is attached to the family, not just the mother.

However, just like everything under the sun, there is a time and a place and a way.  Dads are wonderful at taking care of mother while she does the job that only she can do – nurture their baby at the breast.  Dads can cook and clean and help with the older siblings.  Dads can help bathe the baby, do diaper changes with the baby, walk the baby around, sing songs to the baby and hold the baby after the baby has nursed.  Dad can establish connection with the whole family!  Dad can feed the baby solids when that time comes.  (If you have questions regarding that, please see this insanely popular post: http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/03/11/starting-solids-with-your-infant-and-picky-toddler-eating/). Dad truly does not have to feed the baby a bottle to be connected!

After three children, my husband now sees this newborn period as a time to  nurture me and our older children.  He is involved with the baby in terms of holding, walking the baby around and other tasks, but he also shrugs his shoulders and says to  our little guy, “ Especially when you get a bit bigger, what a wonderful time we are going to have together!”  He recognizes that in this early period, there is a connection between mother and child that is paramount.  He also recognizes the critical role of fathering for both boys and girls, but knows that right now the needs of the infant are best met at the breast.  For more about mothering and fathering, please see this post:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2009/01/23/the-necessity-of-mothering-and-fathering/

I have heard many first- time mothers talk about the changes in their marriage and relationship with their spouse  having a baby  causes.  I have written many posts regarding this,  and here is one of the most popular ones for your reading pleasure:  http://theparentingpassageway.com/2008/11/17/using-your-first-year-of-parenting-to-fall-deeper-in-love-with-your-spouse/

You do not have to leave your baby behind in order to nurture your marriage. If you only have one baby, you can work toward having a special dinner and a movie cued up for when your baby goes to sleep.  You can have great conversation while your baby nurses.  If you have older children as well, many attached families are still comfortable with being together at home after the children are in bed.  If an attached couple with multiple  children does feel the need to “go out”, many times the older children  may stay with a trusted relative or friend, but the baby comes with the mother. This is not my personal choice for babies due to my Waldorf leanings, but at least we see respect  for that biological and cosmic unity in this scenario.  Perhaps protection from assaults on the senses can occur if the mother and father either celebrate being together at home or somewhere quiet!

At this point, I personally am committed to being home for at least 40 days if not a bit longer.  I am so thankful to my husband, family and friends who are supporting me in this endeavor.  I know the baby appreciates it as well. 

Think about how you can meet the needs of the youngest member of your family today.

Love,

Carrie